the second sex

It’s time to read the classics, and get a good grounding in what I’m doing. In 1949 – going on 70 years ago – Simone de Beauvoir wrote this:

“For a long time I have hesitated to write a book on woman. The subject is irritating, especially to women; and it is not new. Enough ink has been spilled in quarrelling over feminism, and perhaps we should say no more about it. It is still talked about, however, for the voluminous nonsense uttered during the last century seems to have done little to illuminate the problem.”


Yesterday, I was mansplained/marginalized by a woman who knows less on a particular topic than I – not feminism, tho it occurs to me that it would be an apt analogy – she had reason to understand that I know more about the topic than she, since most of her knowledge of the topic is third-hand. No wonder she mansplained, that’s how the topic had been shared with her. So it’s not just men whose behavior could be modified in aid of equality and parity.

And no, males, this isn’t an invitation to mansplain and womanshame.

Here’s a concept: Accept people as they are, instead of trying to force them into your idea of what people should be. It seems to me that a great deal of harm has been done, harm to the “other” and anyone can be considered “other”, it all depends upon whom one is trying to control. A suggestion: work on yourself. Control yourself. And if you don’t like how another represents, work on yourself.

Yes, there’s a danger for me in telling men how to behave to women. Yes, I’m trying to control how I am treated by a society of the largely unconscious – and I am a member of that society, and discovering each day the depths of my unconscious behaviors. We’re children in the dark. Let’s share our candles and fire.








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