I’ve been saying for quite a while (and yes, I’ve been saying ALL this stuff for quite a while) that if those born with female genitalia were treated as at least equal to those born with male, all other discrimination would melt away. And according to my experience, backed up by bell hooks and others, women keep other women down. That’s how we were raised – in the patriarchy – and our actions support the continued thriving of the status quo rather than changing to promote equal treatment for all.
Don’t get me wrong, I love men. Actually, clearsightedly love men. But I do not love our society, and I do not love that every 5-7 minutes in America, a woman is raped. And the perpetrators get away with it at least 90% of the time.
That’s not the only reason women are still a second-class “minority” (quotation marks because women comprise 51% of the human race). There’s plenty of heinous behavior to blame around, not to mention the breathtaking amount of unconscious misogyny embedded not only in our cultures, but in our very languages.
This set of thoughts was prompted by this article about the Chicago Dyke March and its ban of a Pride Flag which sported a Star of David. It’s well-researched and well-thought-out, and one can extrapolate to a scarifying slew of other specifics, such as the following stories.
A few months ago I was the victim of “my victimhood is more important than your victimhood” by an African American Male (I, a Jewish Female). It ended what had been a loving friendship and colleagueship – he decided that rather than work together, I was to primarily support his cause while he did nothing to support mine. It ended, I ended it due to his complete unconsciousness of his “men come first” behavior. Even when it was pointed out, he still refused to reconsider that in his view I had no leg to stand on – apparently because of my lack of a third leg,
And now, here is this article and its linked FB post which intersect with both the story above and my overarching point.
I am thrilled that this conversation is moving into the foreground (and devastated that it needs to), especially after last November, when another of my own demographic attempted to SHAME me for having not “worked hard enough for Hillary.” This person was venting her rage and frustration and distress on someone she considered safe; I watched her do it to other friends and colleagues, all of whom collapsed in mea-culpa mode, even tho HRC 1) didn’t lose and 2) was literally robbed, and not by other women – yes, had every woman in America voted HRC, then she would have been inaugurated in January, but that’s another (tho linked) topic. Back to the example at hand, so much for safety, I refused to bow down, even to this former friend whom I love and respected, who is at the national forefront of the fight for LGBTQ+ and Disabled Persons’ rights. And she hasn’t, at least to my face, apologised for supporting the patriarchy – and current government – by attempting to shame and tear down another woman. No matter how hard I did or didn’t work toward for HRC’s election (the unspoken was that I didn’t work as hard as this person and no, I didn’t, but I’m not ashamed of following my own path rather than anyone else’s), shaming anyone for anything is ultimately a lose-lose situation. If the person IS ashamed for something less heinous than murder or grand-theft, they’ll turn it back on the shamer. And if they’re not ashamed? See above, our present government. But I digress.
WHEN WILL WE LEARN??????????
Women, effing UNITE already.
Please read that linked article. It has much food for thought and if you’re willing to open your mind to ancillary topics, it could enhance or alter your point of view.