grief

x-ray-glassware

Did it ever occur to you that we might not need counsellors if we took the time to live through grief, rather than barrelling on and wondering why we feel so wretched, and casting about outside ourselves for quick fixes when there is no such thing?

It’s no secret that I harbor a severe nostalgia for the last century, and this is one example of why: when I was a kid, if someone close to you died, even if it was expected, you took at least a week – better, a month or more – to stop stop stop and grieve, and your community rallied round, picked up your slack so that you could come to terms, if not grips, with that shift in your personal universe.

Almost everything wrong with this century could have been avoided if we had taken the time to think and feel and reflect, to look after each other instead of into our devices, to reacting with something other than jerking knees.

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guilt

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Well, I’ve done it. News of another death – not a near-and-dear (in case you are also a near-and-dear and suddenly worried) – so to avoid those horrible status “updates” when someone posts on the not-yet-decommissioned wall or comments on another post and I see his profile picture and forget he’s dead, and then I remember, I have “unfriended” him. I feel wretched, disloyal, Continue reading

entitlement

xrayvision

Back in December, I was attending a general-seating play at 59E59. I arrived early and chose my seat with care. When the house was almost full, A young woman and man came in, the woman pointed at a single seat elsewhere and told me I could go sit in it so she and her date could sit together. “No,” said I. There were a couple of empty duos, not nearly as good seats, and anyway I don’t like being bossed about, particularly by a young woman who believes that because she is with a man, she is worth more than I am. Continue reading